Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
