If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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