Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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