Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
