I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize