i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
