I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
