I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
