you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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