Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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