Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
