Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Randomize