Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
