I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
