I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
