Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
