Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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