another moral hangover. fuck.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
