May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
