she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize