today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
