she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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