my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's always time for handjobs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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