I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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