What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
