Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
