I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
