I want you more than these girls want KFC
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
