please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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