Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
