I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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