I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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