Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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