I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
