I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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