Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
