Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize