I want to walk on stilts...naked
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
