I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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