Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
