while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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