Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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