just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
