He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
