K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
