You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
