But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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