Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize