Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
