her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize