i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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