so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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