totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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