you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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