a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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