My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Your dad touched me again.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I could make wine with my vomit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
