On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
