He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
