they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
