I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize