grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
