If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
