Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This baby is an asshole
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think my moral compass just broke
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
