Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm gonna fight the coyote
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
