Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
