i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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