Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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