But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
handjob tips. give me some.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
