i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
