I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
