well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
