Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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