woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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